No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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