would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
