You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
