Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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