Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
