I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
