I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Quick, to the slutcave!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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