I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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