Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I got inside last night via doggy door
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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