I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
