I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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