Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
