The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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