her vagine was all disorganized.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
