Buhtt sex?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I fill condoms, not promises.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
