I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I came so hard my ears popped.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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