I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
