So drunk its hurt
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
