Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
