he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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