If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
