I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i already hear my dad disowning me
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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