so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
