It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
