Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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