WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
