he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
