dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
