I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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