Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Less talking, more tequila
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
