Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
