my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
