I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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