oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
