no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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