Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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