If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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