there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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