Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
