there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
