i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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