Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
