Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just tell him i said nine months
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize