shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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