I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
