Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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