also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
