so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
