I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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