Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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