I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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