Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
