So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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