he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
