my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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