I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
