make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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