im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Green mimosas i think yes
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
