No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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